Spare the rod, spare the kid from growing up bitter and resentful? Who the fuck knows?

November 5, 2009

I was reading something about modern parenting over at Obefiend’s, pretty interesting discussion going on in the comments and I thought about it myself too.

I think that in being a parent you should be a buddy; be involved in the kids’ lives, listen to them, praise them when they’re outstanding, but be strict when you need to. I seem to recall Islam has pretty specific guidelines about hitting kids, so I googled something for you:

“The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to smack children for not praying when they reach the age of ten, but this should be the last resort, when all others have failed, and there should be no harshness in the hitting, and we must not hit the face. The father should not hit his child at the time of extreme anger, or with a sharp instrument that may injure him, or with anything that may break bones, and he should not hit him in a place where a blow may be fatal. Brandishing the stick may be more effective than actually hitting. The point is that when disciplining his child, a father should follow the principle of using the gentlest means then the next gentlest; he should not resort to the harshest and most difficult means if he can achieve his aim with something that is easier and gentler.”

Now, bear in mind that this is punishment for something really bad, i.e. not praying. This is God business we’re dealing with here, yet we are told that hitting should only be used as a last resort. So putting things into perspective; do you still think you should be hitting your kid for something far less important than God like say failing an exam, when we are asked to stay our hand unless absolutely necessary in punishing your child for not doing God’s bidding?

I don’t believe in the good cop bad cop thing. Why make the kid hate either one of you? He needs you both, and he needs the both of you to love him.

Here’s one thing I hate when parents do; they ignore their kids’ inquisitiveness. Worse still when they lie about questions they don’t know the answers to. You’re only misguiding the poor sod. Have you ever seen that kid who played on his family computer, exploring the deep recesses of this wonderful machine that does calculations and makes beep beep boop boop sounds, and maybe he finds DOS and he starts fiddling with commands, or he discovers qbasic and starts programming the machine to make beep beep boop boop noises the way he wants them! Amazing! It’s doing what he wants it to! You sense the seeds of learning growing in this kid. He might be a great hacker someday! Why, he just might…

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Oh, shit. Dad just got home. “Why’s the screen black? What nonsense are you…stop FOOLING AROUND WITH THE COMPUTER BOY! Why don’t you watch porn like the rest of the normal kids your age?”.

Or how about the parent who just tells her little girl to “quit asking silly questions” after question after question about various random things?

Guess what just happened? A little kitten in God’s heaven just died. As sure as whatever trace of curiosity the child might have had, and eagerness to learn. You just stopped him from learning. Still want your parent of the year award? Didn’t think so.

If you’re not feeling up for hour upon hour of non-stop 21 hundred questions from a bright, inquisitive mind seeking to know more about the world, I submit that you probably aren’t ready to be a parent yet.

Filed under: Observations, random thoughts |